sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
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