I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
