i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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