you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
