so explain again why im purple
no
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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