is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
