Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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