You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I will pee on everything he values.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
