My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Randomize
