Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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