It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Randomize
