Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Randomize
