I'm drive I can fine osifer
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Randomize
