I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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