Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
