I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I got inside last night via doggy door
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
