the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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