My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
