i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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