my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
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