Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
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