Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
