Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Randomize
