so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Randomize
