i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
pop tarts are not kleenex
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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