that's an acceptable place to lick
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Randomize
