I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
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