Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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