i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize