I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
