and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
