Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
