babies were throwing up all over the place
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
third nipple confirmed
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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