Even the bartender felt bad for me
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
