he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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