My friends, they love my intelligence
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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