slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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