hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
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