Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I got inside last night via doggy door
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
