I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
You can't just leave with hair like that
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Randomize
