I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
thus making me awesome and them whores
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
