Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Randomize
