I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize