Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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