Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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