Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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