Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
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