i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
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