I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
