At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
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