Where is the hickey?
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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