What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
