She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Randomize
