One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
