You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
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