Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
