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• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?

  (410): View more from Maryland

  The recession has changed everything man.

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• (205): View more from Alabama

  Do you want the good news or bad news first?

  (678): View more from Georgia

  bad news

  (205): View more from Alabama

  The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.

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• (914): View more from New York

  is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?

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• (615): View more from Tennessee

  I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.

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• (912): View more from Georgia

  His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.

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• (352): View more from Florida

  One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.

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• (949): View more from California

  Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer

  (1-949): View more from California

  Party on wayne

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• (970): View more from Colorado

  I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.

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• (301): View more from Maryland

  FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.

  (727): View more from Florida

  MAS TEQUILA.

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• (269): View more from Michigan

  We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.

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• (320): View more from Minnesota

  Were you drinking last night?

  (320): View more from Minnesota

  Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.

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• (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches

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• (519): View more from Ontario

  What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?

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• (856): View more from New Jersey

  Then you guys just all showered together...?

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• (270): View more from Kentucky

  Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.

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