just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
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