You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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