I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
