I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
