Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
