I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Randomize
